Pissed!

Adonis: Where am I? Do I smell other cats? Where's my litterbox?


Simba: WTF?!


Zoe: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSHISSSSSSSS SIMBA GET AWAY FROM ME HISSSSSSSSSSSS (Zoe removed quickly to the "Time Out Room" aka bedroom)


Simba: I said, "WTF?!"


Simba: !!! (hides on top shelf in closet)



Simba: .


Adonis: I'm a sweet, gentle kitty. Why don't you want to talk to me?? I guess I'll sleep all night by myself in the house under the cat tree.


Zoe: HISSSSSS SIMBA HISSSS BACK OFF! (Zoe hiding between curtain and blinds in window on cat shelf)

(Complete story to be told here tonight)

Oooooooooh

We can't wait! Mom said there's going to be a surprise for us tonight. We're pretty excited, we'll have to sleep extra hours in preparation of our surprise!!

Happy Fathers Day!

My Dad is pretty cool. Since he's a cool guy, me and Zoe talked Mom into buying him a grill. It wasn't meant to be a Fathers Day gift, but the timing is pretty good so we'll just say it is.

When he got it, I immediately started inspecting it. The lid is pretty cool. I think it would make a nice bed.

The grill itself is a lot bigger than we expected. This is isn't the top grill, this is the bottom one where the charcoal sits. Even it is huge!




Assembling the Weber grill was pretty easy. He only needed to attach the legs, wheels and ash can.








Attaching the frame for the ash can was the hardest part. And even that didn't take much time.








Ta da!










The new grill set up on the patio next to the smoker. As you can see, the smoker has had some use. It's also suffered some damage from condensation and rain. Obviously we don't get much of that here in SD but that's besides the point. :)

The good part about having a new grill is it's used almost every day now. This means Dad'll be walking past the catnip several times a day and will bring some in for us! Ahhh catnip!

Small accomplishment? No way!

This morning I threw up on the bed right next to my dad's face. He woke up cause he heard the yacking sound I make when hurling a hairball. I couldn't help it, I was frozen in time, my eyes about to pop out of my head, my tongue sticking straight out of my mouth - this hairball was well on its way! It was a do or die sort of situation.

While I feel bad because I threw up next to the face of the person I love most in this world, Zoe and I think this one deserves a score of 12 out of 10. Yes, you read right. 12. Not so much for quality of the hairball but for the delivery, timing and placement. I have to admit it myself, it takes balls to do such a thing. And since I am ball-less (my memory of this occassion is clouded), this in itself is an amazing feat.

I've spent most of my day congratulating myself by biting Zoe and slapping at her when I can. A few times I even bared my belly at her in a dare - of course she's too chicken to take that dare. Or should I say, I got lucky. Either way, with my 12 noted on the calendar, I am feeling pretty well accomplished.

If only humans could learn to appreciate the little things in life. It's interesting how they can accomplish something that was nearly impossible and then later downplay it like it was nothing and then mope around about how they don't have anything to show for their life. If only they would look at the small accomplishments rather than the whole picture.

In fact, humans might be happier if they stopped comparing themselves to other people and thinking so much about things like, "Where am I, what am I doing, why am I 30-something with nothing to show" and started appreciating the small feats in their lives. Like a well placed hairball.

Patio

Today mom and dad are cleaning off the patio in preparation of summer grilling and growing plants. They gave us some grass and catnip to eat.

Zoe ate a bunch and then threw up.

Is she bulimic?

Ice cream...yum!

Like any ghetto cat, I will eat pretty much anything as long as I see you eating it. I'm sure that if you're eating it, it's OK for me too. I hate camera flashes though. HATE ARGH!

Simba, on the other hand, is a finicky eater. Dad calls him a gentleman when it comes to eating and drinking. Oh sure, he likes ice cream, but he's very calm and collected about it. He usually likes to sniff it first just to be sure it's vanilla. He won't eat any other flavor.

Fish TV

One of my new hobbies is watching FishTV. I can sit for hours and stare at the fish. I think the Danios taunt me on purpose, quickly swimming back and forth in front of me like little crack addicts.

I even have my bed set up in front of the aquarium so I can watch Fish TV-On Demand in between naps. I've even tried to get into the aquarium but without any success. I guess I'll just have to sit back and imagine the chewy little fish snacks that I'm missing out on. *sigh*

Another thing I'm afraid of...

Wind breakers! You know, the kind of pants that are water proof and make noise when you walk! That's right People, you know what I'm talking about!! My Dad was wearing a pair the other day and they FREAKED ME OUT!

At first when I heard The Pants, I fluffed up my tail, got a mohawk down my back and ran away. I sat at a distance and stared at him. I mean, I knew it was my Dad but he was wearing some scary pants! I wanted to lay in his lap but every time he made a move, that sound grated on my nerves and freaked me out. So I kept my distance and stared. Damn those pants!

My lips are black

Oops

Um, due to the lack of opposable thumbs, I accidently selected some weird option in the comments section of the settings. Apparently it blocked your comments from showing. Sorry about that, I've enlisted the help of someone with thumbs and the problem has been solved.

Thank you for your comments!

-Simba

Zoe's day

It's been such a trying day for me.

I've been meowing hysterically at my Mom all morning. She kept calling me over with that annoying clucking sound. She can be so dense. I mean, you'd think after years and years of training she would understand what I'm trying to say! Anyway, I've been frantically running from her to my hideout in an attempt to get her attention and she's been ignoring me! That incessant typing at her computer combined with ignoring me (who does she think she is, anyway?) really got on my nerves so I finally let out a loud scream. hehehe THAT got her attention.

When she came over to see what was freaking me out, she finally saw Simba in my hideout (one of many). You see, this purple box under the fish tank this is my special hiding place that I can go to when people scare me. And nobody makes me get out either! Mom told me they would only make me get out if it was an emergency and since they haven't pulled me out yet, I know I can trust them.

Anyway...Simba was in my hideout for the first time ever. And you know the only reason he was in there was because he could. He knows it's my hideout. I am the skittish one with bad nerves, not him! I tried asking him nicely, but he wouldn't leave. He pretended he didn't hear me! THE NERVE OF THAT ORANGE JERK!


There's something oddly familiar about my hideout, but I can't quite place my paw on it. Oh well, it's probably not bad. I have a really bad memory and attention span...oh look there's my feather and our Nerf ball!! It's great for rabbit-footing when you lie on your back.

Simba finally left after making me wait for eternity. I taught him a lesson by slapping him and then running around the house really fast. He's too slow and can never catch me - yeah, I like to push my athleticism in his face. Jerk.

Me and my Dad

He has the best lap and knows how to hold a cat. Considering I sleep from 14-18 hours a day, it's important to have several good places to sleep. Sleeping on Dad is definitely one of my favorite thing to do.

Black Rob

Simba here...

Last night Dad was playing a video game, I think it was True Crime: New York City. Anyway, this music started playing in one of the cars and it FREAKED ME OUT! I ran out of the room and hid in the closet. In fact, every single time this song comes on, I run and hide. Then I hear Mom and Dad talking about my big eyes with fully dilated pupils.

I'm not sure why Whoa, by Black Rob, makes me so nervous. It just...it hits a nerve! True, it's rather annoying. But why do you think it does this to me?

If you want to listen to a portion of it, you can do it here.

Everytime that song plays, I run into the bedroom and hide. As soon as the song is over, I come out and look around cautiously and then I'm edgy for the rest of the day. I don't know. Something just doesn't feel right. Has this ever happened to you? Humans just don't get it. :(

Diva or Princess?

I love being massaged. It's one of the four things I require to live a life of comfort:

--Eat
--Sleep
--Massages
--Talk to me

This morning I meowed as shrilly and loudly as I could until I got someone's attention. The reward was a nice long massage. Unfortunately, I ended up getting static from it, but it was definitely worth it.

Mom says I'm a princess, but this other human she talks to a lot (she really cuts into my massage time), Faythe, says I'm a diva. What's the difference anyway? Does it really matter as long as I get attention, plenty of choice food and the #1 Sleeping Spot in the house?

Listen, I am a beautiful, shiney, nubian feline of the female persuasion. I demand respect. And I demand attention. Now I have to admit, I'm scared of a lot of things. A knock at the door. A shoe that suddenly appears where it wasn't yesterday. A plastic bag that makes noise. Or a foot that touches me when I walk by. Yes it's true, I have fragile, sensitive nerves that react with a limber if not taut spring into the air. Simba even called me a "Scaredy Cat" once! Mom thinks it may have something to do with having a feral momma for the first month of my life or being abandoned by a cruel human in a city alley at the tenderest of years. The background of my infancy is still a mystery to everyone so we really don't know why I am a delicate and nervous kitty.

All I know is if I have approved of you, after coming out of hiding of course, and have decided to grace you with my presence, I expect attention. And a lot of it. Just don't make any sudden moves.

I may have to resort to the loud bitchy meow again after the static wears off. I need another massage after all this typing.

Man elevated to "Dad"

I love him so much, I've decided to honor him with the new title, "Dad." Zoe is soooo jealous.

Orange begets orange

I threw up yesterday. Something I ate really upset my stomach. It could have been the cheap catfood (I insist on good quality hard food, but the cheaper the canned food, the better) or it could have been that crunchy piece of plastic. Not sure. Either way, my puke was orange.

Well, by the time Girl found it, the orange goo had stained the carpet. She knew it was me because my fur was mixed in with it. I tell you, fur always gives a cat a way, ya know? Anyway, every time I walk by that spot on the carpet right in the walkway in front of the tv, I have to stop and sniff it. It sorta freaks me out; I keep forgetting that I caused the stain! Zoe and I are still discussing whether or not it is worth hairball points.

Girl keeps talking about some sort of stain remover. Is there such a thing? Will my stain hold? Only time will tell.

SuperCat photo session

Oh, um, we forgot to post the photos from Halloween. Overall, I have to say the experience was not that bad. I really liked my costume. At least this is what I told myself while I posed for the photos and secretly plotted my revenge. If you read the Hairball Score just below on October 31st, you'll know how I seek my revenge. Oh yes. Revenge.

Oh wait, is that meowing I hear? Is someone meowing for help? Nope, just a cat food commercial. HISSS!








Check out my cape. Groovy. Meanwhile, I'm trying to decide if I need to do any more licking to make hairball or if I have enough fur built up.






Damn, I'm gorgeous!










Just look at me!!










After the photo session I got some good pets in.


I layed around for a while with my SuperCat outfit dreaming of all the hairballs I was going to randomly deposit later.

And then Zoe came over and started making fun of me. I gave her a good smack and she left. BRAT!

Kitty Yin - Yang

It's been pretty cold lately so I've been allowing Zoe to sleep with me in the cat tree. The one with the blanket (yeah, that's right...we've got two). Girl learned real quick that we won't sleep in it without the blanket. We'd both rather sit on the never-used second shelf than sleep in the bowl on top without the blanket.

Being that we're So Cal ghetto cats, we're not used to weather that dips below 60 degree's. We hear rumors from passing birds that it can get colder, but whatever! What do they know?? Their brains are smaller than ours!

Anyway, so The Brat aka Zoe usually manages to squeeze her way into my bed. First, she jumps in with me and wakes me up. This makes me pretty grouchy. I hate it when she wakes me up during a good snooze! But then she makes up for it by licking my head. It feels pretty good! As long as she doesn't lick too long, I'll let her stick around. She knows that if she doesn't stop, I'll lay a strangle hold on her along with a good bite. After we get nice and warm, we'll both stretch out like Yin - Yang Cats.

Don't worry, we're both really comfortable. I know it doesn't look like it but we are. This one is pretty funny, look how my face is squished under Zoe. Actually, I did this on purpose. I always like to cover my eyes when the lights are on.

It takes a lot of sleeping to get the energy to post. Man, I need a nap!

Hairball update....SCORE!!

This week we managed to yack out two hairballs, one each. Here's Zoe to tell her story:

Yeah, so I was sleeping on the windowsill in the bedroom when I woke up due to some stomach gurgling. I knew this was going to be a good one since I felt pretty bloated and my stomach was rock hard. First thing I did was saunter as quickly as I could into the livingroom where the humans were sitting, eating dinner. I positioned myself at an angle right in front of the TV so they could both watch me. It was classic! Even Simba high-fived me afterwards!

Anyway, so I spread out my legs and hunkered down for a good yacking position. After some heavy heaving that would put any sorority girl to shame, I managed to yack up a nice black hairball that was so big, it separated into two sections that criss-crossed each other nicely as they fell to the floor. I was pretty proud of this one...it was HUGE and looked like poo!

Instead of running away in "fear" (yeah, like we're really afraid LOL), I nonchalantly walked away. I passed a side-long glance at Girl. Her mouth was stuck in the "duh" position - she was speechless! Both humans froze for a few seconds before one of them managed to get up and remove my piece of art.

On a scale of one to five, I give this hairball Five Kibble!

Since Simba is now sleeping in MY box, I'll tell you about his hairball of the week. Since he's been an ass to me lately, I've refused to lick him. He can lick his own damn orange fur clean! So you can bet your catnip he had a nice juicy one worked up.

This morning just before the humans woke up, we discussed where he should deposit it. And we knew the perfect place! You see, almost every morning Girl gets up early and moves to the couch and sleeps about an hour. I guess it has something to do with the firetrucks, piercing rising sun, and other noise just outside the bedroom window looking onto the street. It's like heaven to me, but whatever! Humans are so freaking sensitive.

Anyway, we took some measurements the other morning and calculated exactly where Girl would step when she walks to the couch. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about! Just as the alarm clock was going off, Simba yacked up his soggy orange hairball in the perfect place: about two inches from the front of couch. *MEOOOOW MEOW MEW MEW MEW!*

Sure enough, Girl stepped right into it this morning. And the best part?? She was TOO TIRED TO NOTICE! It wasn't until she got up 45 minutes later that she said, "I think there's something wet over here."

OH MY GAWD life is so perfect!

I give this hairball Three Kibble for quality, but Five Kibble for placement! Way to go Simba!

What is this Halloween thing?

Our memory is pretty short so we really don't remember much past last weeks food allotments (which was pretty small - humans are so damn stingy). Anyway, apparently tonight was some sort of "dress up and scare the little kids" night. At least that's what we heard boy-human saying. It really took us by surprise. I mean, he had this THING on his face! It really scares the crap out of me. I don't like it and don't want it around.


I hate this mask. It scared the hairballs right out of me!







Zoe didn't care for it much either. She was smarter than me though. Whenever she saw boy-human with the mask, she would run away. Damn her and her sleek, fast moving body!! I can never get away, I aways get caught!


Here's Zoe doing her world-renowned impression of "A Cat that Doesn't Want To Be Picked Up." Note the positioning of her legs as she's getting ready to push off his chest.

She is so athletic. I hate her! I must go bite her now.







I thought it was weird how he kept saying how much he likes kids and thinks they're cute. If he likes them, why did he keep scaring them? I just don't get humans. They're so complicated! Speaking of humans, Girl put clothes on us!! YEAH! I'll load those pics later. I just saw a can of catfood being taken from the fridge.

Food always takes precedence over blogging.