Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Simba - Halloween costume??

Can you believe this crap? Today girl-human came home from shopping with HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. FOR US CATS!!! I'm not sure what she thinks she's doing or if she thinks she's going to get away with this.

*mental note to self, pee on bed later*

She EVEN made me try on my costume!! I played it cool, like it was nothing, but later while she wasn't looking, I got my revenge and bit it a bunch of times.

Zoe - Go ahead and try to make me!!

Uh, yeah, right. So as Simba was pointing out earlier, we have Halloween costumes. This is how I feel about it:

That bitch! I'd like to see her try to make me wear it too! I'll be sure to have my claws sharpened just before Halloween. Oh yes...I'm seething with anticipation on this one.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Zoe -Quiz

Be at ease, grasshopper. Put away the horribly dubbed movies and katanas for a while. While physical fitness is a good thing, nobody likes to be told over and over and over and over what martial arts you have mastered. Get a life.

Pissed at the World Cat 83%
Ninja Cat 83%
Couch Potato Cat 67%
Derranged Cat 50%
Drunk Cat 17%
Love Machine Cat 0%
Nerd Cat 0%

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with


Girl human has this weird obsession with knitting. Good thing for me! Cause I LOVE yarn! I put yarn up there with the top five must haves:

1- food
2- massage
3- litter box (must be clean or I will pee on your bed)
4- fleece to sleep on
5- yarn

So today girl human was wandering around taking pictures of our mutual obsession for her blog. I guess she wasn't happy with the first picture (something to do with the background and color absorption) and was trying various backgrounds. Finally, she took a photo she liked and left the four balls of yumminess alone in the bedroom.

MUWAHAHAHAAAAA! precious yarn. When she came back into the bedroom to retrieve the yarn, she found me with it. I tried to act like nothing was going on. I was cool, man, cool.

But..upon closer inspection she noticed there was a ball missing. EEEE!!

I was distracted by an unintelligible-to-human-ears sound from the living room and didn't notice she had discovered my hiding spot and had started pulling the yarn ball out from under me. grrrr! I stuck out a paw in a half hearted attempt to protect my prize, but that sound...what was it!?? I could NOT concentrate! I was really hoping it was food related (see #1 in list).

And THEN I saw Zoe...she was hiding up in the closet on the top shelf, trying to be sneaky. At last, I found her new hiding spot!! She is such a brat, using her nifty black fur to blend in with her hiding spots. Sometimes I hate her and bite her neck.

While I was imagining biting Zoe's neck, Girl started taking all the yarn away! No, not my precious yarn! I LOVE YOU!

You see, this yarn is special. It's made of bamboo! YEAH! Bamboo yarn! You have NO idea!

As you can see my desperate attempts were in vain.

I'm telling you... I get no respect around here, none at all.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Degrade my royalness by making me poop in a plastic box in front of everyone? I spit in your eye and run away. Pet me and I might honor you with my presence.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

he's home!!

hi, it's me - simba. ok, so i know this isn't the greatest introductory post for you humans, but i know all cats out there will agree that one of the bestest moments in a cats day is when a missing human appears after a long absence.

you see, i was getting pretty worried about boy-humans absence. i mean, ok... girl-human was doing a pretty good job and making sure we had plenty of food and filtered water. sure, she made sure we got our daily massage and special soft food each night on schedule and our poop box was clean (although there was one night when it wasn't so clean, but i taught her a lesson and pee'd on her bed).

life has been uneventful. me and my sister zoe slept all day, i bit her a few times, we ate and pooped. but that's it. sorry, but it was boring. when girl-human finally got home from wherever she spent her days, there wasn't that much time left in the day to pet me like i need to be pet. i'm talking, serious pets and massages. and i need to be looked in the eye while you do it. yes, i'm that kind of cat.

i was getting pretty annoyed when girl-human would push me away from her monitor - mean, what gives? i need attention! doesn't she see that? who does she think she is?? i don't know why she got upset when i pushed things off the desk. really, i was doing her a favor so she could massage me better.

anyway, boy-human suddenly appeared tonight! i don't know where he was either. he smells funny! i'm still not sure what all the smells mean, but i'll get to the bottom of it tonight when i can investigate his luggage after he goes to sleep.

meanwhile, when he first came home i made sure i got pet right away. man, i sure do love him. he's my most favorite human in the world. besides, he knows how to treat a cat right. with utter devotion and attention...yeah, he knows his place.