Hairball update....SCORE!!

This week we managed to yack out two hairballs, one each. Here's Zoe to tell her story:

Yeah, so I was sleeping on the windowsill in the bedroom when I woke up due to some stomach gurgling. I knew this was going to be a good one since I felt pretty bloated and my stomach was rock hard. First thing I did was saunter as quickly as I could into the livingroom where the humans were sitting, eating dinner. I positioned myself at an angle right in front of the TV so they could both watch me. It was classic! Even Simba high-fived me afterwards!

Anyway, so I spread out my legs and hunkered down for a good yacking position. After some heavy heaving that would put any sorority girl to shame, I managed to yack up a nice black hairball that was so big, it separated into two sections that criss-crossed each other nicely as they fell to the floor. I was pretty proud of this one...it was HUGE and looked like poo!

Instead of running away in "fear" (yeah, like we're really afraid LOL), I nonchalantly walked away. I passed a side-long glance at Girl. Her mouth was stuck in the "duh" position - she was speechless! Both humans froze for a few seconds before one of them managed to get up and remove my piece of art.

On a scale of one to five, I give this hairball Five Kibble!

Since Simba is now sleeping in MY box, I'll tell you about his hairball of the week. Since he's been an ass to me lately, I've refused to lick him. He can lick his own damn orange fur clean! So you can bet your catnip he had a nice juicy one worked up.

This morning just before the humans woke up, we discussed where he should deposit it. And we knew the perfect place! You see, almost every morning Girl gets up early and moves to the couch and sleeps about an hour. I guess it has something to do with the firetrucks, piercing rising sun, and other noise just outside the bedroom window looking onto the street. It's like heaven to me, but whatever! Humans are so freaking sensitive.

Anyway, we took some measurements the other morning and calculated exactly where Girl would step when she walks to the couch. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about! Just as the alarm clock was going off, Simba yacked up his soggy orange hairball in the perfect place: about two inches from the front of couch. *MEOOOOW MEOW MEW MEW MEW!*

Sure enough, Girl stepped right into it this morning. And the best part?? She was TOO TIRED TO NOTICE! It wasn't until she got up 45 minutes later that she said, "I think there's something wet over here."

OH MY GAWD life is so perfect!

I give this hairball Three Kibble for quality, but Five Kibble for placement! Way to go Simba!

What is this Halloween thing?

Our memory is pretty short so we really don't remember much past last weeks food allotments (which was pretty small - humans are so damn stingy). Anyway, apparently tonight was some sort of "dress up and scare the little kids" night. At least that's what we heard boy-human saying. It really took us by surprise. I mean, he had this THING on his face! It really scares the crap out of me. I don't like it and don't want it around.


I hate this mask. It scared the hairballs right out of me!







Zoe didn't care for it much either. She was smarter than me though. Whenever she saw boy-human with the mask, she would run away. Damn her and her sleek, fast moving body!! I can never get away, I aways get caught!


Here's Zoe doing her world-renowned impression of "A Cat that Doesn't Want To Be Picked Up." Note the positioning of her legs as she's getting ready to push off his chest.

She is so athletic. I hate her! I must go bite her now.







I thought it was weird how he kept saying how much he likes kids and thinks they're cute. If he likes them, why did he keep scaring them? I just don't get humans. They're so complicated! Speaking of humans, Girl put clothes on us!! YEAH! I'll load those pics later. I just saw a can of catfood being taken from the fridge.

Food always takes precedence over blogging.

This is what we think of blogger...

MEOWERRRR....HISSSSSSSSS!!!!

WE GIVE YOU FOUR NUBBINS OF FURY!

Simba - Halloween costume??

Can you believe this crap? Today girl-human came home from shopping with HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. FOR US CATS!!! I'm not sure what she thinks she's doing or if she thinks she's going to get away with this.

*mental note to self, pee on bed later*

She EVEN made me try on my costume!! I played it cool, like it was nothing, but later while she wasn't looking, I got my revenge and bit it a bunch of times.

Zoe - Go ahead and try to make me!!

Uh, yeah, right. So as Simba was pointing out earlier, we have Halloween costumes. This is how I feel about it:


That bitch! I'd like to see her try to make me wear it too! I'll be sure to have my claws sharpened just before Halloween. Oh yes...I'm seething with anticipation on this one.

Zoe -Quiz

Be at ease, grasshopper. Put away the horribly dubbed movies and katanas for a while. While physical fitness is a good thing, nobody likes to be told over and over and over and over what martial arts you have mastered. Get a life.

Pissed at the World Cat 83%
Ninja Cat 83%
Couch Potato Cat 67%
Derranged Cat 50%
Drunk Cat 17%
Love Machine Cat 0%
Nerd Cat 0%

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Simba

Girl human has this weird obsession with knitting. Good thing for me! Cause I LOVE yarn! I put yarn up there with the top five must haves:

1- food
2- massage
3- litter box (must be clean or I will pee on your bed)
4- fleece to sleep on
5- yarn

So today girl human was wandering around taking pictures of our mutual obsession for her blog. I guess she wasn't happy with the first picture (something to do with the background and color absorption) and was trying various backgrounds. Finally, she took a photo she liked and left the four balls of yumminess alone in the bedroom.

MUWAHAHAHAAAAA!

Ahhh..my precious yarn. When she came back into the bedroom to retrieve the yarn, she found me with it. I tried to act like nothing was going on. I was cool, man, cool.

But..upon closer inspection she noticed there was a ball missing. EEEE!!

I was distracted by an unintelligible-to-human-ears sound from the living room and didn't notice she had discovered my hiding spot and had started pulling the yarn ball out from under me. grrrr! I stuck out a paw in a half hearted attempt to protect my prize, but that sound...what was it!?? I could NOT concentrate! I was really hoping it was food related (see #1 in list).

And THEN I saw Zoe...she was hiding up in the closet on the top shelf, trying to be sneaky. At last, I found her new hiding spot!! She is such a brat, using her nifty black fur to blend in with her hiding spots. Sometimes I hate her and bite her neck.


While I was imagining biting Zoe's neck, Girl started taking all the yarn away! No, not my precious yarn! I LOVE YOU!

You see, this yarn is special. It's made of bamboo! YEAH! Bamboo yarn! You have NO idea!



As you can see my desperate attempts were in vain.

I'm telling you... I get no respect around here, none at all.

Zoe

Degrade my royalness by making me poop in a plastic box in front of everyone? I spit in your eye and run away. Pet me and I might honor you with my presence.

he's home!!

hi, it's me - simba. ok, so i know this isn't the greatest introductory post for you humans, but i know all cats out there will agree that one of the bestest moments in a cats day is when a missing human appears after a long absence.

you see, i was getting pretty worried about boy-humans absence. i mean, ok... girl-human was doing a pretty good job and making sure we had plenty of food and filtered water. sure, she made sure we got our daily massage and special soft food each night on schedule and our poop box was clean (although there was one night when it wasn't so clean, but i taught her a lesson and pee'd on her bed).

life has been uneventful. me and my sister zoe slept all day, i bit her a few times, we ate and pooped. but that's it. sorry, but it was boring. when girl-human finally got home from wherever she spent her days, there wasn't that much time left in the day to pet me like i need to be pet. i'm talking, serious pets and massages. and i need to be looked in the eye while you do it. yes, i'm that kind of cat.

i was getting pretty annoyed when girl-human would push me away from her monitor - mean, what gives? i need attention! doesn't she see that? who does she think she is?? i don't know why she got upset when i pushed things off the desk. really, i was doing her a favor so she could massage me better.

anyway, boy-human suddenly appeared tonight! i don't know where he was either. he smells funny! i'm still not sure what all the smells mean, but i'll get to the bottom of it tonight when i can investigate his luggage after he goes to sleep.

meanwhile, when he first came home i made sure i got pet right away. man, i sure do love him. he's my most favorite human in the world. besides, he knows how to treat a cat right. with utter devotion and attention...yeah, he knows his place.