Kickin it with Pimp C and his sista Lil Z

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T18:01:00.000-08:00

Christmas was awesome this year. Aunt Aimee gave me a toy!! I love chewing on it and batting it around to make the bells jingle.

I love rabbit footing stuff!

Hope you all had fun this holiday season and maybe something to chew on too.

If only I could leave a Post-it

2007-12-16T10:03:00.001-08:00

Caught red pawed! (or orange?)

2007-11-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I was finally caught this morning. I think Mom and Dad have finally realized that we cats are indeed smarter than they are! See, each night when the family (humans and cats alike) goes to bed, I lay next to Dad for about 5 minutes, then I leave the room. His assumption was just that I preferred to sleep in one of my beds in the living room.

Me kneading the blankets making Mom and Dad believe I was comfortable on their bed. Genius!!

Well this morning I was so tired I didn't hear him rustling around in the livingroom and I didn't have time to sneak away from my new sleeping spot. By the time I realized he was awake, he was already in the kitchen. Let's just say that his belief that I never walk on the counter was found to be a big fat lie, especially since he caught me slinking quietly out of the cupboard! Yes it's true, I love sleeping in the cupboard right next to the bowls or glasses, wherever I can squeeze in. It's just so nice and dark and high up!

I'm not sure how I'm going to manage it again, hopefully he'll forget about it tonight and I'll be able to pry those cupboard doors open again with my incredibly strong paws! Even if the cupboards are closed too tight, I'm sure I'll find a new place. It'll also be in a place Mom and Dad never suspect.

What unusual places do you guys sleep in?

Food review: Sheba and Fancy Feast

2007-09-19T19:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Dad gave us soft food all day long without Mom knowing until it was too late. See, that's what we like about him. He gives us the good stuff while Mom says we can only have a spoonful each night. One of the cans they bought, which was actually a Friskies flavor that we always like, has already been consumed so we won't be able to review it here. Never fear, we a bunch more cans to go and Mom says she'll buy more next week!

The entree of choice tonight was Sheba's Ocean Seafood Cocktail with Sauce.

It looks like chunks with a sauce. Is that a clam or oyster?? What the....

Look, I waited patiently yet eagerly for this food but when I looked at it and took one whiff, I ran away. I almost knocked Mom down while she squated near me to take my picture. Zoe didn't waste any time either. Dad even brought her back but she ran away.

I was so annoyed that I sat in a near by chair and chewed on my nails. Anything is better than that food!!

Zoe sulked under the chair. Mom left the food down for about 2o minutes to see if we'd change our minds but NO WAY!

Finally, she cleaned out the dishes and got a second can of food out, Friskies Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish & Tuna. I could tell that this food was more like our style! We don't really dig that stuff with chunks or sauce on it.

As soon as Mom put down the dishes, we got to business. The subtle aroma of the fish wafted over us as we gulped it down. It didn't take long to clean our bowls!

Afterwards, I groomed myself and fell asleep. Zoe went to bed in her cat tree. Our vote? The Fancy Feast won by far!!

It's not like we're finicky or anything

2007-09-17T20:22:00.000-07:00

Lately Mom and Dad have been giving us soft food that tastes like, well, garbage! There's nothing worse than pacing nervously around the kitchen all evening while they fix dinner and then watching in excitement while they dish up your soft food, only to take one whiff and realize it's crap! It's enough to make a cat just walk away with his tail sticking up stiffly behind him!

Apparently piles of soft food left over night untouched and hardened has garnered their attention. Today they brought home several different foods for us to sample: Friskies, Priority, 9 Lives, Fancy Feast, Fancy Feast Medley and Sheba. We'll let you know how it goes.

Footloose and fancy free!

2007-09-12T22:58:00.000-07:00

The last time I blogged, I was suffering a bit of constipation. Well I'm glad to say I'm all better!

After consulting the Internets, some friends and the vet, Mom first put butter on the tops of my paws. WELL I FLIPPED OUT and ran away, leaving a trail of butter behind me. Looking back, it was pretty funny seeing streaks that looked like a skier had been in the kitchen. Anyway, next Mom wrapped me up with a towel in what she calls The Burrito (usually saved for rare occasions when she doesn't trust my claws) and gave me some olive oil.

I was not pleased!

I swallowed most of the oil but some of it stuck in my fur for days. It was in that hard to reach spot on my neck. Anyway, Dad went to a local store and looked for some of that stuff in a tube that they usually give me but he couldn't find any. The final last step of abuse I suffered was the removal of the hard crunchy cat food! Mom decided we should live on a diet of soft food for 24 hours to help "move things along." Most cats would enjoy that but personally, if I had a choice I'd go for our Iams Hairball formula any day.

They decided to wait it out and see what happened. The thing they didn't notice until much later was a small hard turd lying in the doorway of the bedroom. Even when I'm not feeling well, I'm sure to keep the element of surprise!!

Over the next few days I made several large deposits in the litter box. Mom and Dad even had the gall to STARE at me and watch my every move! It was so embarrassing, I couldn't bury my business fast enough! The good news is I'm back to normal. Mom is talking about making changes to my diet so this doesn't happen again. Hopefully it doesn't involve The Burrito!

I'd like to thank you all for your well wishes, I feel so loved! Mom is a little jealous that more cats comment on our blog than humans do on hers but she has NO idea how tight we cats are!

I am constipated.

2007-09-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

Yes that's right. At one point I saw it...sticking out! (it was furry) Whenever I go to the litter box nothing happens. When I try to do some grooming down there, I can't help but growl! I'm not sure what to do!

Plus, it's been extremely hot. Mom has been kind enough to run the AC even when she's not here. But the humidity at 75% is just awful!

Well, back to the litterbox for me.

Sorry we haven't been blogging

2007-08-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

Mom has been sick for about three weeks now. She finally went to the human vet *shiver* and got some medicine. All she does is cough cough cough. We need her to help edit our photographs and upload them. Plus, there's that whole Ctrl/Alt/Dlt when turning on the computer and entering the username and password. It's just too much for our nubbins to handle.

This morning I heard her say something about visiting her Mom. But how can that be? Her Mom lives over 1200 miles away! I'm confused. She and Dad seem to be up to something, there's a lot of commotion, laundry being done, clothes being put in those boxes with handles, etc. They even had the neighbor-that-pets-me come over and they showed him our food and litter box! Something doesn't smell right here!!

Just laying around

2007-07-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

Not much to write about the days. It's been hot so mostly we just lay around on our Dad. He got a new receiver which means he now has another remote. There's three remotes in this picture, can you find them all? Meanwhile, his remotes are keeping his hands busy and we're not being pet. ARGH!

My Mom thinks she's really funny!!

2007-07-14T00:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight she said she had an idea for something new she could use to clean fingerprints off DVD's.

Yeah, ME!! She actually took the disk and swirled it around in circles on the top of my head.

She then took the disk and "for good measure" rubbed it against fur on other various parts of my body. I would pee on her bed as revenge but I've recently done this and the punishment is still fresh in my mind. They wouldn't let me in the bedroom for a whole day!

I love to play fetch!

2007-06-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

Tonight Mom found one of my mice under the couch. Once I realized she had it, I meowed until she threw the mouse over and over again.

Here I am sitting patiently with loud intermittent meows waiting for her to throw the mouse between fetches. Simba doesn't understand my passion for fetching the mouse!

I always bring the mouse back just out of reach of Mom or Dad. I can bring it closer but I do this to prove a point. And I think all of us cats know exactly what point I'm talking about!

Simba doesn't want to play, he just stares. But I know he really wants to join in on the fun, he's just too stuffy to actually go for it. Frankly I think he's too "big boned" to play fetch.

At one point I was jumping up and down with the mouse in my mouth in an attempt to provoke Simba into playing.

I don't know where the mouse is now (I suspect Mom hid it just after she made a fake throwing motion) but I'll find it...oh yes, I will! It's probably with the bag full of mice she has hidden somewhere. I'll just have to wait until she goes to sleep and then sniff around until I find them!

7 Random Things About Simba

2007-05-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

The Rat just tagged us! I'm practicing my Pimping skillz and have just pushed Zoe out of the way so I can type up this meme:

1) I love trucks. Whenever a big truck drives by, I run to the bedroom window and stare out. My favorite is street cleaners.

2) I don't like people petting me when I'm sleeping. If someone pets me, I'll give them the stink eye.

3) The only soft food I eat is Friskies. And ONLY Ocean Whitefish Dinner or Ocean Whitefish with Tuna. And nothing froo froo like gravy.

4) The tip of my tail feels like the bone is sticking out. It also feels like it was broken once a half inch from the end. It was like that when I came home to live with my Mom.

5) I have freckles in my mouth, on my toe pads and in my ears.

6) Catnip is OK. I'd rather just roll around on it than eat it.

7) When Dad calls me and points, I know he's telling me to go look at whatever he's pointing at. Usually he's pointing at birds outside on the fence or on the patio pavement.

If you're reading this, you've been tagged!

Yummy, stinky leaves

2007-05-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

Mom tested us to see how long it would take to find the fresh catnip she had just plucked. She rubbed the leaves between her fingers until they really stunk, after that it only took a few seconds for us to sniff them out and even less time to eat them. Fortunately for me Simba doesn't like catnip that much. I usually wait a few seconds until he walks away then I eat his. HEHEHE!

Funny face

2007-05-19T22:25:00.000-07:00

Today Mom took a picture of Simba with his paws stacked and right when she took it, he yawned! He looks so funny! Those dark spots are where his freckles inside his mouth grew together.

My great adventure!

2007-05-06T17:37:00.000-07:00

Today Mom let me go out onto the patio, the forbidden area! I've only been out there once before but that was because I was sneaking. This time she let me sit between her knees and look around at all the new sights and poke at things on the ground with my nubbins. Then I laid down and enjoyed the sun while she gave me a massage. If Dad finds out I was out there, she's going to be in big trouble!!

Ah, The Nip

2007-04-29T18:59:00.000-07:00

Whether we call it The Nip,catibus or catnip, it's still the same thing. Our love for this green plant endures all. What you're looking at here is a small portion of our own private collection growing on the patio.

Buddy

2007-04-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

My cousin, Buddy, is a big ...um, big cushy cat. He doesn't agree. What do you think? If you go here to read about him, scroll down a bit until you see his picture. Then go here to see what he says.

hehehe

It may not be 4/20 but we got some catibus!

2007-04-25T23:42:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad came home yesterday with some new pots for the plants outside (we're not allowed to eat them...I've tried). Simba looked inside one of them and there was a catibus plant! We LOOOOOOOVE catnip aka catibus!

By the time I made it over to the catibus (I almost didn't believe Simba, but I could smell the stench of it's lovely leaves), Mom had put it outside and planted it in a big planter so it'd grow up and make even more leaves for us to eat. I can't wait! I'll show you pictures when it's grown up.

Simba made me mad

2007-04-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

So I bit him. His yucky fur was stuck in my mouth!

Nora, The Piano-Playing Cat

2007-04-19T10:36:00.001-07:00

We are so jealous!

If You Were a Mouse

2007-03-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

Sniff butt

2007-02-17T22:08:00.000-08:00

This reminds me of one of my favorite things to do. I always get in trouble for sniffing Simba's butt.

The way life should be

2007-01-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

Now that it's cold in the evening, one of my favorite places to sleep is stretched out on the back of the couch under the lamp. You'd be surprised at how much heat it puts out.

I can hear my Dad a mile away. I know when he's coming up or down the steps, walking down the hallway, etc. I can tell from the jiggle of his keys or his footsteps. Sometimes I'll sit on the arm of this chair and meow at the door when I know he's out there. I get really loud too, especially when I can hear him talking to someone. He seriously needs to get his priorities straight: 1) Pet me, 2) Feed me, 3) Pet me. I don't see talking to the neighbors in this list. *sniff*

Now, my Mom really knows how to treat a kitty right! Every night I get a deep tissue massage. It's sooo relaxing! She takes the time to rub all over my face, my ears, back, paws, legs, tummy...just thinking about it makes me want to lick my paws and legs excessively!

Did I mention how good it feels? I can't help but get a smile on my face. Ah yes, there's nothing like the satisfaction that comes from a good massage. These are the kind that put me in a kitty-coma. Which reminds me, I need to go find my Mom. It's massage time!

Martin Luther King Day

2007-01-15T22:31:00.000-08:00

Martin Luther's message of unity desipte color of your skin (or fur in our case) was not lost on us. We even shared a bed, without quarrel, in honor of this memorable day.

Nap time is the best time

2007-01-06T18:18:00.000-08:00

I've got my dad by my side and the remotes for the TV, I'm set. I love naps!

Just a reminder: hate hate hate Black Rob!

2006-12-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

Mom was reading through my blog today and saw an old post about my hating Black Rob. So she played some of his music, if that's what you want to call it, to see if I still felt that way.

YES, YES I DO. I hid in the closet to get away from it! I hate his "music!" It's awful!

It's twenty minutes later and I'm still edgey. My ears won't stop twitching and I could swear there's something spooky in the room. I feel like scratching someone's eyes out! Yeah Black Rob, that'll give you something to WHOA about!!!

A Man and his Cat

2006-12-03T21:49:00.000-08:00

Remote in hand, football on tv. What more can we ask for?

Cuddles are the best

2006-11-29T22:02:00.000-08:00

2006-11-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

Yet another blanket to sleep on

2006-10-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Aunt Faythe sent us a homemade plaid blanket all the way from Spokane! The colors are awful bright but I love it! And yarn!

Nip attack!

2006-10-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

I think the following photos are self explanatory.

That's me sitting on our favorite paper bag. We were feeling pretty good after all the nip! - Zoe

I got in trouble

2006-10-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

I was mad. I don't remember why, I just remember...I was mad. So, I peed on mom and dad's bed.
Let's just say it was not received very well. I had to hide behind my blanket on the cat tree for a while.

I love yarn and yarn goods

2006-10-17T00:11:00.000-07:00

One of our favorite things to do

2006-10-16T23:52:00.000-07:00

We have a strict daily routine. For example, every morning before our 11:00 nap, we sit in the window and look outside at the birds, people and other cats wandering around. The best times are when the birds hang out in the bushes next to the window and then walk out on the balcony.

It's scary when people walk up close to the window and poke at us though. This is how we look at people who get too close to the window:

When the sun's out, which is most of the time, we crawl through the slats of the blinds and absorb as much heat as possible.

Sure, the blinds are pretty loud, since they're metal. Simba seems to think if we sneak through slowly, there's less noise. But I prefer to just throw myself at the blinds and get it over with.

Simba's not very good at updating the blog, I think I'll be taking over for a while.

-Zoe

Smackdown!

2006-09-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

WARNING: humans may find the following image a bit graphic

2006-08-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

Humans are so finicky. I mean, a cat just lays out a beautiful piece of hairball art like this and GEEZE, the people get all crazy and freaked out! hehehehe!!

We played innocent as Dad pointed it out. Me saying,"Whoa! What's this? Where'd it come from??" And Zoe's, "Who dat?!" We're pro's! We know exactly how innocent to act and how to flick our tails and walk away like it's nothing.

We deserve an Oscar for this performance!

-Simba and Zoe, partners in crime.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T

2006-08-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

Our Mom sent us this picture of some cat named Jojo. Apparently she is as soft as silk! I'm not sure what she means by this. Does she not see my picture below where I'm obviously lacking a masseuse??? I am the one that is as soft as silk! I am the one that needs attention. I'm not sure how I'm going to last the week!!

-Zoe

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

2006-08-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

Stop staring, get your ass over here and start my massage, NOW BEYOTCH! (I miss my Mom, she's on vacation in Spokane.)

-Zoe

Goodbye Adonis

2006-08-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

It's with our heads hung in shame that we announce the departure of our recent housemate, Adonis. The humans got freaked out when I, Simba, tried to hurt him. (Don't worry, there was no actual physical contact.) In my defense, he made some rude comments about Zoe, who refused to come out of hiding and chased me around the apartment first.

We've learned that he now has an even better home, one with something like five rooms and friendly cats that welcome him with open paws. Zoe and I are a bit jealous since this new home is better than ours. He's living in luxury and we're stuck here in this one bedroom apartment! MEOWARRR!

Sorry we couldn't make it work!

-Simba and Zoe

It's hot

2006-07-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

The heat feels good though. Instead of curling up together or lying in the sun, we can just stretch out anywhere.

-Zoe

Finally, a new scratcher!

2006-07-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

We got a new cardboard scratcher today! As soon as Mom took the plastic wrapper off and before it was even laying flat on the ground, both of us started attacking it and scratching it like crazy.

There's nothing better than a good whiff of catnip after a long nap. I just love the nip!

This is how I lay on the scratcher after I've exhausted myself from catnip whiffing, taking a poo, running around the apartment, well, you get the idea.

- Simba

Surprise? You bet!

2006-07-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Something bad happened this morning. Adonis chased me all over the apartment making Dad yell at us and waking Mom up! She woke up from a dead sleep on the couch and tried to grab Adonis, but he was too quick and sleek for her sleepy hands.

I was really surprised, I don't know why he chased me. All I did was sniff his door! OK, I also opened it with my paw to look in, that's when he started chasing me all over and knocking things down and causing a big commotion! I could swear Dad was throwing things at us too. Later he complained, "I broke my remote." Well, serves him right! I just feel bad for Zoe, considering she has that nervous condition.

Zoe refuses to come out of hiding. When he first started chasing me, she ran into the closet and has not been seen since then. I think I heard her in there, but I don't know where she is exactly.

Hopefully she'll come out soon. I mean, it's been almost four hours now and she's still in seculsion. Damn women!

This is what she looks like when she's relaxed, a rare moment.

It only took me about 20 minutes to come out of hiding myself. After I inspected the apartment, I was back to my usual self.

Hi, I'm Adonis, the "surprise."

2006-07-10T22:40:00.001-07:00

I'm living in Simba and Zoe's house. Actually, I hide in a cupboard in their house. They scare me. They're always hissing at me. Actually, Simba hisses at me and Zoe hisses at Simba. I don't know why they don't like me. :(

So I live in the cupboard until night when they're locked away with the people. This gives me the opportunity to stretch my legs and run all over the place. One night, I managed to flip the rug over in the livingroom. I wish I could have been there to see the look on everyone's faces when they saw the mess I created!

Last week I finally realized the brown guy was cool. I remember the night, there were a lot of loud booming sounds outside. I kept hearing scary sounds but the brown guy was really soothing to me. He brought me my nightly plate of soft food, pet me gently and tried to explain "fireworks" to me. For the first time ever, I came out and opened up. It was great being myself!

Turns out it was a great idea. Brown guy gave me a lot of pets and even brushed me. It was like heaven! I hadn't realized how much I missed human contact. Even scared kitties like me need love!

Now every night I make sure to show my appreciation to brown guy. He scratches me in the right places, rubs my ears, and massages my stiff muscles. I even let the girl pick me up and pet me sometimes. This morning was really embarassing though. She picked me up twice and each time I farted! I acted casual and tried to pretend like it was nothing. Thank god for fur, nobody can see me blush! It's probably all this soft food, I'm still getting used to it.

Now if only the other cats in the house would realize I'm no threat. I just want to sleep my share of the day away, eat and get pet once in a while. Is that too much to ask for?

Pissed!

2006-06-23T12:44:00.001-07:00

Adonis: Where am I? Do I smell other cats? Where's my litterbox?

Simba: WTF?!

Zoe: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSHISSSSSSSS SIMBA GET AWAY FROM ME HISSSSSSSSSSSS (Zoe removed quickly to the "Time Out Room" aka bedroom)

Simba: I said, "WTF?!"

Simba: !!! (hides on top shelf in closet)

Simba: .

Adonis: I'm a sweet, gentle kitty. Why don't you want to talk to me?? I guess I'll sleep all night by myself in the house under the cat tree.

Zoe: HISSSSSS SIMBA HISSSS BACK OFF! (Zoe hiding between curtain and blinds in window on cat shelf)

(Complete story to be told here tonight)

Oooooooooh

2006-06-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

We can't wait! Mom said there's going to be a surprise for us tonight. We're pretty excited, we'll have to sleep extra hours in preparation of our surprise!!

Happy Fathers Day!

2006-06-18T12:25:00.000-07:00

My Dad is pretty cool. Since he's a cool guy, me and Zoe talked Mom into buying him a grill. It wasn't meant to be a Fathers Day gift, but the timing is pretty good so we'll just say it is.

When he got it, I immediately started inspecting it. The lid is pretty cool. I think it would make a nice bed.

The grill itself is a lot bigger than we expected. This is isn't the top grill, this is the bottom one where the charcoal sits. Even it is huge!

Assembling the Weber grill was pretty easy. He only needed to attach the legs, wheels and ash can.

Attaching the frame for the ash can was the hardest part. And even that didn't take much time.

Ta da!

The new grill set up on the patio next to the smoker. As you can see, the smoker has had some use. It's also suffered some damage from condensation and rain. Obviously we don't get much of that here in SD but that's besides the point. :)

The good part about having a new grill is it's used almost every day now. This means Dad'll be walking past the catnip several times a day and will bring some in for us! Ahhh catnip!

Small accomplishment? No way!

2006-06-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

This morning I threw up on the bed right next to my dad's face. He woke up cause he heard the yacking sound I make when hurling a hairball. I couldn't help it, I was frozen in time, my eyes about to pop out of my head, my tongue sticking straight out of my mouth - this hairball was well on its way! It was a do or die sort of situation.

While I feel bad because I threw up next to the face of the person I love most in this world, Zoe and I think this one deserves a score of 12 out of 10. Yes, you read right. 12. Not so much for quality of the hairball but for the delivery, timing and placement. I have to admit it myself, it takes balls to do such a thing. And since I am ball-less (my memory of this occassion is clouded), this in itself is an amazing feat.

I've spent most of my day congratulating myself by biting Zoe and slapping at her when I can. A few times I even bared my belly at her in a dare - of course she's too chicken to take that dare. Or should I say, I got lucky. Either way, with my 12 noted on the calendar, I am feeling pretty well accomplished.

If only humans could learn to appreciate the little things in life. It's interesting how they can accomplish something that was nearly impossible and then later downplay it like it was nothing and then mope around about how they don't have anything to show for their life. If only they would look at the small accomplishments rather than the whole picture.

In fact, humans might be happier if they stopped comparing themselves to other people and thinking so much about things like, "Where am I, what am I doing, why am I 30-something with nothing to show" and started appreciating the small feats in their lives. Like a well placed hairball.

Patio

2006-06-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

Today mom and dad are cleaning off the patio in preparation of summer grilling and growing plants. They gave us some grass and catnip to eat.

Zoe ate a bunch and then threw up.

Is she bulimic?

Ice cream...yum!

2006-04-29T20:11:00.000-07:00

Like any ghetto cat, I will eat pretty much anything as long as I see you eating it. I'm sure that if you're eating it, it's OK for me too. I hate camera flashes though. HATE ARGH!

Simba, on the other hand, is a finicky eater. Dad calls him a gentleman when it comes to eating and drinking. Oh sure, he likes ice cream, but he's very calm and collected about it. He usually likes to sniff it first just to be sure it's vanilla. He won't eat any other flavor.

Fish TV

2006-02-27T05:39:00.000-08:00

One of my new hobbies is watching FishTV. I can sit for hours and stare at the fish. I think the Danios taunt me on purpose, quickly swimming back and forth in front of me like little crack addicts.

I even have my bed set up in front of the aquarium so I can watch Fish TV-On Demand in between naps. I've even tried to get into the aquarium but without any success. I guess I'll just have to sit back and imagine the chewy little fish snacks that I'm missing out on. *sigh*

Another thing I'm afraid of...

2006-02-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

Wind breakers! You know, the kind of pants that are water proof and make noise when you walk! That's right People, you know what I'm talking about!! My Dad was wearing a pair the other day and they FREAKED ME OUT!

At first when I heard The Pants, I fluffed up my tail, got a mohawk down my back and ran away. I sat at a distance and stared at him. I mean, I knew it was my Dad but he was wearing some scary pants! I wanted to lay in his lap but every time he made a move, that sound grated on my nerves and freaked me out. So I kept my distance and stared. Damn those pants!

My lips are black

2006-02-16T07:52:00.000-08:00

Oops

2006-01-21T22:54:00.000-08:00

Um, due to the lack of opposable thumbs, I accidently selected some weird option in the comments section of the settings. Apparently it blocked your comments from showing. Sorry about that, I've enlisted the help of someone with thumbs and the problem has been solved.

Thank you for your comments!

-Simba

Zoe's day

2006-01-15T15:28:00.000-08:00

It's been such a trying day for me.

I've been meowing hysterically at my Mom all morning. She kept calling me over with that annoying clucking sound. She can be so dense. I mean, you'd think after years and years of training she would understand what I'm trying to say! Anyway, I've been frantically running from her to my hideout in an attempt to get her attention and she's been ignoring me! That incessant typing at her computer combined with ignoring me (who does she think she is, anyway?) really got on my nerves so I finally let out a loud scream. hehehe THAT got her attention.

When she came over to see what was freaking me out, she finally saw Simba in my hideout (one of many). You see, this purple box under the fish tank this is my special hiding place that I can go to when people scare me. And nobody makes me get out either! Mom told me they would only make me get out if it was an emergency and since they haven't pulled me out yet, I know I can trust them.

Anyway...Simba was in my hideout for the first time ever. And you know the only reason he was in there was because he could. He knows it's my hideout. I am the skittish one with bad nerves, not him! I tried asking him nicely, but he wouldn't leave. He pretended he didn't hear me! THE NERVE OF THAT ORANGE JERK!

There's something oddly familiar about my hideout, but I can't quite place my paw on it. Oh well, it's probably not bad. I have a really bad memory and attention span...oh look there's my feather and our Nerf ball!! It's great for rabbit-footing when you lie on your back.

Simba finally left after making me wait for eternity. I taught him a lesson by slapping him and then running around the house really fast. He's too slow and can never catch me - yeah, I like to push my athleticism in his face. Jerk.

Me and my Dad

2006-01-15T15:20:00.000-08:00

He has the best lap and knows how to hold a cat. Considering I sleep from 14-18 hours a day, it's important to have several good places to sleep. Sleeping on Dad is definitely one of my favorite thing to do.

Black Rob

2006-01-09T14:22:00.000-08:00

Simba here...

Last night Dad was playing a video game, I think it was True Crime: New York City. Anyway, this music started playing in one of the cars and it FREAKED ME OUT! I ran out of the room and hid in the closet. In fact, every single time this song comes on, I run and hide. Then I hear Mom and Dad talking about my big eyes with fully dilated pupils.

I'm not sure why Whoa, by Black Rob, makes me so nervous. It just...it hits a nerve! True, it's rather annoying. But why do you think it does this to me?

If you want to listen to a portion of it, you can do it here.

Everytime that song plays, I run into the bedroom and hide. As soon as the song is over, I come out and look around cautiously and then I'm edgy for the rest of the day. I don't know. Something just doesn't feel right. Has this ever happened to you? Humans just don't get it. :(

Diva or Princess?

2005-11-28T13:55:00.000-08:00

I love being massaged. It's one of the four things I require to live a life of comfort:

--Eat
--Sleep
--Massages
--Talk to me

This morning I meowed as shrilly and loudly as I could until I got someone's attention. The reward was a nice long massage. Unfortunately, I ended up getting static from it, but it was definitely worth it.

Mom says I'm a princess, but this other human she talks to a lot (she really cuts into my massage time), Faythe, says I'm a diva. What's the difference anyway? Does it really matter as long as I get attention, plenty of choice food and the #1 Sleeping Spot in the house?

Listen, I am a beautiful, shiney, nubian feline of the female persuasion. I demand respect. And I demand attention. Now I have to admit, I'm scared of a lot of things. A knock at the door. A shoe that suddenly appears where it wasn't yesterday. A plastic bag that makes noise. Or a foot that touches me when I walk by. Yes it's true, I have fragile, sensitive nerves that react with a limber if not taut spring into the air. Simba even called me a "Scaredy Cat" once! Mom thinks it may have something to do with having a feral momma for the first month of my life or being abandoned by a cruel human in a city alley at the tenderest of years. The background of my infancy is still a mystery to everyone so we really don't know why I am a delicate and nervous kitty.

All I know is if I have approved of you, after coming out of hiding of course, and have decided to grace you with my presence, I expect attention. And a lot of it. Just don't make any sudden moves.

I may have to resort to the loud bitchy meow again after the static wears off. I need another massage after all this typing.

Man elevated to "Dad"

2005-11-19T11:08:00.000-08:00

I love him so much, I've decided to honor him with the new title, "Dad." Zoe is soooo jealous.

Orange begets orange

2005-11-16T23:31:00.000-08:00

I threw up yesterday. Something I ate really upset my stomach. It could have been the cheap catfood (I insist on good quality hard food, but the cheaper the canned food, the better) or it could have been that crunchy piece of plastic. Not sure. Either way, my puke was orange.

Well, by the time Girl found it, the orange goo had stained the carpet. She knew it was me because my fur was mixed in with it. I tell you, fur always gives a cat a way, ya know? Anyway, every time I walk by that spot on the carpet right in the walkway in front of the tv, I have to stop and sniff it. It sorta freaks me out; I keep forgetting that I caused the stain! Zoe and I are still discussing whether or not it is worth hairball points.

Girl keeps talking about some sort of stain remover. Is there such a thing? Will my stain hold? Only time will tell.

SuperCat photo session

2005-11-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

Oh, um, we forgot to post the photos from Halloween. Overall, I have to say the experience was not that bad. I really liked my costume. At least this is what I told myself while I posed for the photos and secretly plotted my revenge. If you read the Hairball Score just below on October 31st, you'll know how I seek my revenge. Oh yes. Revenge.

Oh wait, is that meowing I hear? Is someone meowing for help? Nope, just a cat food commercial. HISSS!

Check out my cape. Groovy. Meanwhile, I'm trying to decide if I need to do any more licking to make hairball or if I have enough fur built up.

Damn, I'm gorgeous!

Just look at me!!

After the photo session I got some good pets in.

I layed around for a while with my SuperCat outfit dreaming of all the hairballs I was going to randomly deposit later.

And then Zoe came over and started making fun of me. I gave her a good smack and she left. BRAT!

Kitty Yin - Yang

2005-11-10T21:28:00.000-08:00

It's been pretty cold lately so I've been allowing Zoe to sleep with me in the cat tree. The one with the blanket (yeah, that's right...we've got two). Girl learned real quick that we won't sleep in it without the blanket. We'd both rather sit on the never-used second shelf than sleep in the bowl on top without the blanket.

Being that we're So Cal ghetto cats, we're not used to weather that dips below 60 degree's. We hear rumors from passing birds that it can get colder, but whatever! What do they know?? Their brains are smaller than ours!

Anyway, so The Brat aka Zoe usually manages to squeeze her way into my bed. First, she jumps in with me and wakes me up. This makes me pretty grouchy. I hate it when she wakes me up during a good snooze! But then she makes up for it by licking my head. It feels pretty good! As long as she doesn't lick too long, I'll let her stick around. She knows that if she doesn't stop, I'll lay a strangle hold on her along with a good bite. After we get nice and warm, we'll both stretch out like Yin - Yang Cats.

Don't worry, we're both really comfortable. I know it doesn't look like it but we are. This one is pretty funny, look how my face is squished under Zoe. Actually, I did this on purpose. I always like to cover my eyes when the lights are on.

It takes a lot of sleeping to get the energy to post. Man, I need a nap!

Hairball update....SCORE!!

2005-10-31T20:48:00.000-08:00

This week we managed to yack out two hairballs, one each. Here's Zoe to tell her story:

Yeah, so I was sleeping on the windowsill in the bedroom when I woke up due to some stomach gurgling. I knew this was going to be a good one since I felt pretty bloated and my stomach was rock hard. First thing I did was saunter as quickly as I could into the livingroom where the humans were sitting, eating dinner. I positioned myself at an angle right in front of the TV so they could both watch me. It was classic! Even Simba high-fived me afterwards!

Anyway, so I spread out my legs and hunkered down for a good yacking position. After some heavy heaving that would put any sorority girl to shame, I managed to yack up a nice black hairball that was so big, it separated into two sections that criss-crossed each other nicely as they fell to the floor. I was pretty proud of this one...it was HUGE and looked like poo!

Instead of running away in "fear" (yeah, like we're really afraid LOL), I nonchalantly walked away. I passed a side-long glance at Girl. Her mouth was stuck in the "duh" position - she was speechless! Both humans froze for a few seconds before one of them managed to get up and remove my piece of art.

On a scale of one to five, I give this hairball Five Kibble!

Since Simba is now sleeping in MY box, I'll tell you about his hairball of the week. Since he's been an ass to me lately, I've refused to lick him. He can lick his own damn orange fur clean! So you can bet your catnip he had a nice juicy one worked up.

This morning just before the humans woke up, we discussed where he should deposit it. And we knew the perfect place! You see, almost every morning Girl gets up early and moves to the couch and sleeps about an hour. I guess it has something to do with the firetrucks, piercing rising sun, and other noise just outside the bedroom window looking onto the street. It's like heaven to me, but whatever! Humans are so freaking sensitive.

Anyway, we took some measurements the other morning and calculated exactly where Girl would step when she walks to the couch. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about! Just as the alarm clock was going off, Simba yacked up his soggy orange hairball in the perfect place: about two inches from the front of couch. *MEOOOOW MEOW MEW MEW MEW!*

Sure enough, Girl stepped right into it this morning. And the best part?? She was TOO TIRED TO NOTICE! It wasn't until she got up 45 minutes later that she said, "I think there's something wet over here."

OH MY GAWD life is so perfect!

I give this hairball Three Kibble for quality, but Five Kibble for placement! Way to go Simba!

What is this Halloween thing?

2005-10-31T20:17:00.000-08:00

Our memory is pretty short so we really don't remember much past last weeks food allotments (which was pretty small - humans are so damn stingy). Anyway, apparently tonight was some sort of "dress up and scare the little kids" night. At least that's what we heard boy-human saying. It really took us by surprise. I mean, he had this THING on his face! It really scares the crap out of me. I don't like it and don't want it around.

I hate this mask. It scared the hairballs right out of me!

Zoe didn't care for it much either. She was smarter than me though. Whenever she saw boy-human with the mask, she would run away. Damn her and her sleek, fast moving body!! I can never get away, I aways get caught!

Here's Zoe doing her world-renowned impression of "A Cat that Doesn't Want To Be Picked Up." Note the positioning of her legs as she's getting ready to push off his chest.

She is so athletic. I hate her! I must go bite her now.

I thought it was weird how he kept saying how much he likes kids and thinks they're cute. If he likes them, why did he keep scaring them? I just don't get humans. They're so complicated! Speaking of humans, Girl put clothes on us!! YEAH! I'll load those pics later. I just saw a can of catfood being taken from the fridge.

Food always takes precedence over blogging.

This is what we think of blogger...

2005-10-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

MEOWERRRR....HISSSSSSSSS!!!!

WE GIVE YOU FOUR NUBBINS OF FURY!

Simba - Halloween costume??

2005-09-21T18:37:00.000-07:00

Can you believe this crap? Today girl-human came home from shopping with HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. FOR US CATS!!! I'm not sure what she thinks she's doing or if she thinks she's going to get away with this.

*mental note to self, pee on bed later*

She EVEN made me try on my costume!! I played it cool, like it was nothing, but later while she wasn't looking, I got my revenge and bit it a bunch of times.

Zoe - Go ahead and try to make me!!

2005-09-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Uh, yeah, right. So as Simba was pointing out earlier, we have Halloween costumes. This is how I feel about it:

That bitch! I'd like to see her try to make me wear it too! I'll be sure to have my claws sharpened just before Halloween. Oh yes...I'm seething with anticipation on this one.

Zoe -Quiz

2005-09-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

Be at ease, grasshopper. Put away the horribly dubbed movies and katanas for a while. While physical fitness is a good thing, nobody likes to be told over and over and over and over what martial arts you have mastered. Get a life.

Pissed at the World Cat 83%
Ninja Cat 83%
Couch Potato Cat 67%
Derranged Cat 50%
Drunk Cat 17%
Love Machine Cat 0%
Nerd Cat 0%

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Simba

2005-09-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

Girl human has this weird obsession with knitting. Good thing for me! Cause I LOVE yarn! I put yarn up there with the top five must haves:

1- food
2- massage
3- litter box (must be clean or I will pee on your bed)
4- fleece to sleep on
5- yarn

So today girl human was wandering around taking pictures of our mutual obsession for her blog. I guess she wasn't happy with the first picture (something to do with the background and color absorption) and was trying various backgrounds. Finally, she took a photo she liked and left the four balls of yumminess alone in the bedroom.

MUWAHAHAHAAAAA!

Ahhh..my precious yarn. When she came back into the bedroom to retrieve the yarn, she found me with it. I tried to act like nothing was going on. I was cool, man, cool.

But..upon closer inspection she noticed there was a ball missing. EEEE!!

I was distracted by an unintelligible-to-human-ears sound from the living room and didn't notice she had discovered my hiding spot and had started pulling the yarn ball out from under me. grrrr! I stuck out a paw in a half hearted attempt to protect my prize, but that sound...what was it!?? I could NOT concentrate! I was really hoping it was food related (see #1 in list).

And THEN I saw Zoe...she was hiding up in the closet on the top shelf, trying to be sneaky. At last, I found her new hiding spot!! She is such a brat, using her nifty black fur to blend in with her hiding spots. Sometimes I hate her and bite her neck.

While I was imagining biting Zoe's neck, Girl started taking all the yarn away! No, not my precious yarn! I LOVE YOU!

You see, this yarn is special. It's made of bamboo! YEAH! Bamboo yarn! You have NO idea!

As you can see my desperate attempts were in vain.

I'm telling you... I get no respect around here, none at all.

Zoe

2005-09-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

Degrade my royalness by making me poop in a plastic box in front of everyone? I spit in your eye and run away. Pet me and I might honor you with my presence.

he's home!!

2005-09-06T22:40:00.000-07:00

hi, it's me - simba. ok, so i know this isn't the greatest introductory post for you humans, but i know all cats out there will agree that one of the bestest moments in a cats day is when a missing human appears after a long absence.

you see, i was getting pretty worried about boy-humans absence. i mean, ok... girl-human was doing a pretty good job and making sure we had plenty of food and filtered water. sure, she made sure we got our daily massage and special soft food each night on schedule and our poop box was clean (although there was one night when it wasn't so clean, but i taught her a lesson and pee'd on her bed).

life has been uneventful. me and my sister zoe slept all day, i bit her a few times, we ate and pooped. but that's it. sorry, but it was boring. when girl-human finally got home from wherever she spent her days, there wasn't that much time left in the day to pet me like i need to be pet. i'm talking, serious pets and massages. and i need to be looked in the eye while you do it. yes, i'm that kind of cat.

i was getting pretty annoyed when girl-human would push me away from her monitor - mean, what gives? i need attention! doesn't she see that? who does she think she is?? i don't know why she got upset when i pushed things off the desk. really, i was doing her a favor so she could massage me better.

anyway, boy-human suddenly appeared tonight! i don't know where he was either. he smells funny! i'm still not sure what all the smells mean, but i'll get to the bottom of it tonight when i can investigate his luggage after he goes to sleep.

meanwhile, when he first came home i made sure i got pet right away. man, i sure do love him. he's my most favorite human in the world. besides, he knows how to treat a cat right. with utter devotion and attention...yeah, he knows his place.